she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
