his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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