hell yes lets make some ravioli
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
