brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
