Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
