Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize