So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
