you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
