Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize