i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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