Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
