have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
