So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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