i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
