I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
