We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
