Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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