I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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