Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
