I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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