I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
