i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
