I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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