I want to stick my p in your. b.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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