why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
