Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
