We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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