so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Im part way to drunk.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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