R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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