conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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