He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
