were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
