I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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