so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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