So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Vodka?
Forever.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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