I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
