i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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