North Korea, Best Korea!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Randomize
