i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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