I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
