I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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