Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
