I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
