And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
