he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
