If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
