she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
