Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
