He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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