Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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