glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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