apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
