She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
