ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize