i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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