Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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