I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
