i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize