i would punch a child for taco bell
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
