She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
