Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
