Those balls look pretty dangerous.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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